‘I was heartbroken as my partner left with him in the car and couldn't stop crying’: Rescue dog’s aggression escalates from barking standoffs to headbutting, forcing the guilt-ridden foster pawrents to prioritize the dog’s need for a specialized home

Author image for Laurent Shinar
Laurent Shinar • Writer and Editor
Oct 7, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Rescues, whether they are dogs or cats are incredibly tough and unpredictable things. In an instant your world goes from not having any dependents to having a dependent who cannot and will not ever be able to use an elevator on their own. You are their whole world. Which can be incredible if everything goes right, but when things start going awry that is when the nightmare begins. And that is what this story's couple protagonists found out when they adopted from their local shelter.

After being assured the doggo was well-behaved they discovered within the first two weeks of bringing it home, that the doggo was indeed not well-behaved in any way, and was likely experiencing traumas from past owners. Such intense reactions that this poor couple was forced to do one of the few things that a pawrent never ever wants to do, to return their adopted doggo. While an impossible choice, it had to be made in this case and it was for the betterment of everyone's lives, including the doggo.
 

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  • 01
    I am absolutely not posting this here for sympathy, more to see if people with rescue experience think we did the right thing for the dog and for us. The last two weeks with our dog have been an emotional
    via muggylittlec
  • 02
    rollercoaster of love and frustration. We got a rescue dog a couple of weeks back (an American Bulldog cross Boxer) and although we didn't know his history, the rescue centre did three behavioural
    via muggylittlec
  • 03
    assessments on him, mixed him with dogs and had him for around a month. They were very confident he had a friendly demeanour and as this was our first dog for many years and we were a
    via muggylittlec
  • 04
    bit rusty, they assured us that he would take some work but they had no concerns about any serious behaviours.
    via muggylittlec

  • Well, this sure adds and element of intrigue considering the title of this story. How did a doggo with no behavioral issues go from being a supposed good boy, to a menace within the space of a few weeks? It sure does sound like someone was either lying or someone was doing something horrendous to this poor pupper.

  • 05
    I know about the 3- 3-3 rule with rescues and for the first 3 days he was amazing, he was affectionate, calm, gentle and slept like a baby - but I obviously knew this wouldn't last as his settling in period proceeded. We gave
    via muggylittlec
  • 06
    him his own quiet space, toys, herbal calming plugins for the house, introduced positive training techniques, treated him with lots of food, fuss, love and we never shouted or punished
    via muggylittlec
  • 07
    brown and black dog barking aggressively in a field
    via The Len via Adobe Stock

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    him, as I know this could cause him to become reactive. We were always firm and showed him what was expected, to try and give him some rules to follow and some structure in his life.
    via muggylittlec
  • 09
    But over this last week his behaviour got worse and he started to show increasing aggression. Last week he started to tear my housemate's bedding apart (which is totally natural behaviour
    via muggylittlec
  • 10
    and could have been stress) and when I intervened, told him no and distracted him with his favourite food, he was standoffish, stood his ground and barked at me. I managed to attract him to the top of the stairs with some
    via muggylittlec
  • 11
    food, he stood still and when my housemate walked across the room he snapped at him, but luckily didn't bite. His second incident was standing to block my path and barking at me as I
    via muggylittlec

  • Wow, this sounds like it was getting out of hand really quickly. For a darling doggo’s behavior to shift so intensely, you would normally expect some reports of altercations or mistreatment. But under the reported circumstances, one can only assume that something in this house was triggering past traumas…

  • 12
    walked across the room. I calmly walked around him and ignored his behaviour. On the same day he saw someone in the field behind our home and ran to the end of the garden, began barking quite
    via muggylittlec
  • 13
    aggressively and wouldn't respond to us when we called. We had to use his favourite food to get his attention and slowly get him back in the house. When he was back inside, we moved him to his
    via muggylittlec
  • 14
    quiet place for a while, but when I approached he ran to the gate and started barking at me, certainly not in a playful manner. Later that day, when we went to bed and we tried to get him into his own bed
    via muggylittlec
  • 15
    (which he had been sleeping on in our room) he refused to go and tried to get into bed with us. I calmly blocked him from getting in and directed him to his bed, he then head- butted my hands
    via muggylittlec
  • 16
    (like a nip without the teeth) and for my safety I got out of bed and slept on the sofa. We spoke to a dog behaviourist who gave us a routine to follow and techniques to soothe the dog, or
    via muggylittlec
  • 17
    allow him more time to self soothe to calm him down, but over the next few days his behaviour got worse: Growling when he heard someone come to the door of the room we were in.
    via muggylittlec
  • 18
    Barking at us if we had (human) food that he was not allowed to have. Being aggressively destructive with toys and sometimes household items, and barking at people as they approached. I felt
    via muggylittlec
  • 19
    like we were spending 18 hours a day babysitting him just to keep him calm - apart from dog walks neither of us have been away from the house since we got hm.
    via muggylittlec
  • 20
    This pattern of behaviour made us decide that this was not the right home for this dog and whatever we were doing, we were not helping him to settle. I take
    via muggylittlec
  • 21
    tan dog barking aggressively through a gate
    via kdvkz via Adobe Stock

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 22
    responsibility for this and I wish we had the skills required to have helped him feel safe and at home here, this is not the dog's fault and I lay no blame with him. I was heartbroken as my partner left with him in the car and couldn't stop crying,
    via muggylittlec
  • 23
    but I do feel that although this was a horrible decision to have to make, it was the right one. Did we not give him enough time?Should the dog home have supported us more? What could we do in the future to ensure
    via muggylittlec
  • 24
    we don't go through this heartbreak again? I really hope we made the right decision and I know I will have a guilty conscious for a long time.
    via muggylittlec
  • 25
    blusi... My Wife and I went through something similar with a foster to adopt. While we did our best, the dog had aggression issues which we
    via muggylittlec
  • 26
    were not experienced enough to help her with. She ended up going to a great home with experienced owners who could be with her 24/7 so it
    via muggylittlec
  • 27
    was definitely for the best. A year later we tried again and found a wonderful rescue who is a great fit for us.
    via muggylittlec

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left escalation aggressive car foster rescue dog heartbroken reddit story headbutt pawrents partner dog story stop home crying
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